After gaining a greater understanding of narcissism and doing the work to heal from your individual wounds, it is vital to maintain just a few issues in thoughts to interrupt the cycle and keep away from that legacy of narcissism, which Behary talked about. Which means doing all the pieces in your energy to maintain your youngsters from having the identical expertise and growing up to be narcissists themselves.
Probably the most vital components is permitting your little one to expertise some separation from you, in keeping with psychoanalyst Laurie Hollman, Ph.D.
“There’s a stage of kid improvement known as separation-individuation in the course of the first three years of life,” Hollman writes in her ebook Are You Living With a Narcissist? “That is when the kid should work out his have to really feel near an admiring mom whereas additionally growing a wholesome separation the place he can tolerate that he’s not all-powerful and grandiose.” In different phrases, enable your little one to develop their very own id other than you, and to really feel secure doing so.
On the identical time, it is vital for folks to set limits–especially in the event that they’re apprehensive about elevating a future narcissist. Some dad and mom wrestle to self-discipline, particularly those that are people-pleasers on account of themselves being raised with narcissistic dad and mom. However youngsters require wholesome limitations.
“The kid wants [his mother] to set limits in order that he is aware of relate to others in a manner that’s acceptable,” Hollman writes. “If he’s too highly effective, he expects that he’s entitled to greater than a toddler ought to have.”